A Proposal?
by barbarapotter
Summary: A funny little fic about Hermione and...er....Fred?. No that's not right...or is it? My first attempt at a humorous oneshot.


**A PROPOSAL?**

_July 14, 1998_

Hermione Granger was sitting on the couch at the Burrow in her Hogwarts kilt and grey sweater, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She had been watching Crookshanks play with a ball of orange yarn for the past ten minutes. One really couldn't tell where the ball of yarn ended and Crookshanks began. Hermione chuckled to herself and said, "You know, Crookshanks, you're really making a mess of yourself."

The half-Kneazle mewed loudly and batted a paw at her, which meant that he was actually enjoying himself…and that he liked mauling Mrs Weasley's yarn. How he could enjoy being tangled up was beyond Hermione's logic.

Just then, she heard someone whistling a happy tune and it was growing nearer, accompanied by slightly heavy footsteps. Hermione looked up and concluded that one of the Weasleys was soon to come down the stairs. The sound of Crookshanks pouncing on the ball of yarn causing it to roll halfway across the room, triggered Hermione to focus her attention back on her pet.

The person stopped whistling and walked towards Hermione. It was Fred. He sat down beside her and watched Crookshanks tumble over the ball of yarn, getting even more tangled in it than before. Mrs Weasley would probably be delighted to know that her knitting was being put to such good use.

"Hey Hermione," said Fred, making Hermione jump a foot in the air. She'd been staring at Crookshanks so long that she didn't see Fred coming. He put his right arm around her, "Where's Ron?"

"He's out in the garden with your mum. He mentioned something about helping degnome the garden. You can go out there and find him if you like."

"Nah, I'm good," said Fred, who took his arm away and stood up, only to take her left hand in his right, "I'd much rather stay in here with you, love."

"What did you call me?" snapped Hermione, but she didn't take her hand away…she was too shocked. Hermione Granger had never expected anyone but Ron call her 'love'…let alone Fred Weasley…one of the 'Princes of Practical Jokes'. Hermione was the cleverest witch of her age, but she really couldn't figure this one out…even if the answer came and bit her on the nose.

"_Love_, dear," Fred said in a surprisingly serious tone as he stared into her eyes, "Hermione Jane Granger, I love you. You've got everything a man could ever ask for…brains, beauty and a good sense of humour…" he reached into his robes pocket with his left hand and produced a small square velvet box which he opened to reveal an exquisite diamond engagement ring and stooped down on one knee in front of her. Gazing into her eyes he asked, "Will you marry me?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow and looked puzzled, "Is this some kind of joke?" she asked. She felt ready enough to get married…but not to Fred Weasley. She didn't love him…she only loved one man – Ronald Weasley. She was about to reply, when…

"FRED WEASLEY, WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY WOMAN?" a voice bellowed from just inside the back door. Hermione turned her head to see Ron Weasley covered in specks of dirt and his longish red hair as messy as Harry's…making him look irresistible. She loved the way his fringe covered his eyebrows and looked slightly damp with sweat. Her heart skipped a beat every time he entered the room…but this time, he looked mighty angry. She felt she had to say something…but Fred beat her to it. George was standing beside Ron, but quickly crossed the room to protect his twin, sensing a fight.

"Ah, little brother," said Fred, "I was wondering when you were going to show up. I was just asking Hermione a little question."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, well, you see…I never really knew how much I loved Jermione Hane Granger until I descended down the stairs and professed my undying love for her…no big deal!"

"NO BIG DEAL?" Ron continued yelling. At this point Ginny and Percy had come down to see what all of the commotion was about, "I hope you know that Hermione is MY woman! I'm not sharing her with you!"

"Who said anything about sharing, Ickle Ronniekins?" countered Fred, "Mione can have me all to herself if she wants."

_Mione?_ Hermione thought…_What is Fred playing at?_

Ron crossed the room with clenched teeth and fists. He wasn't about to let Fred get away with almost proposing to Hermione.

"Would you like to say that to my face, Fred?" threatened Ron, who had brandished his wand, pointing it awfully close to Fred's throat, "I do know some good hexes now that I'm of age to use magic."

"Whoa, calm down there, buddy, I was just kidding. I was thinking that you weren't going to ask Hermione to marry you right now that I'd do it for you. You can take over now if you want."

Ron looked at Fred and raised an eyebrow, but he didn't take away his wand, "Really?" he asked. Fred nodded and gave the ring to Ron, "Finish the job. She's lucky to have you. She would've said no to me anyway. You try proposing to her…see how hard it is to get the answer you want!"

Hermione was speechless. She watched the whole ordeal without saying a word. She was too much in shock to speak, … which was something because she always had something to say – even if nobody was actually listening.

"Right," said Ron, taking the ring and lowering his wand. He bent down on one knee and took Hermione's left hand in hers, "Hermione Jane Granger," he said, emphasizing her name for Fred, who had messed it up earlier. George just chuckled, "It took me a long time to find the words to say how much I love you and want to be with you, love. You're smart, beautiful and the best friend I could ever have. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Hermione's hazel eyes welled with tears and a few had fallen, as her lower lip trembled. Ron plucked the ring out of the box and waited for Hermione's response. She couldn't really say anything except for: "YES!" she exclaimed through her tears, "Yes, I'll marry you! Of course, if Fred was really serious about marrying me I might have considered-"

"Hermione!" Ron gasped.

"Gotcha!" she said, and she leaned down, bringing Ron's lips in for a sensational kiss. Hermione loved Ron's full, pouty lips…they were his best feature by far. Ron slipped the ring on her finger.

Applause and cheers came from various corners of the main floor. Mr and Mrs Weasley were in the foyer and Fred and George were by the fireplace near what looked like Crookshanks, but more toy-like in appearance because of the yarn in which he had tangled himself. Percy, and now Bill and Charlie were at the foot of the stairs, and when Hermione turned around, she saw her parents, who were crying. She ran over to hug them and said, "How did you know?"

Her mother kissed her forehead, but her father said, "Sweetie," she said, "Ron had sent us an owl asking permission to marry you. We knew that he didn't have much money so the ring you're wearing is my mother's old engagement ring. I decided to give it to Ron because we knew how much in love you two were. I hope you two will be happy together. Congratulations."

"It was actually all Fred's idea," said George, "He set up the fake proposal to confuse you, and Ron wasn't really supposed to get that worked up."

"I'm a good actor, aren't I?" Ron asked Hermione, who had run to snuggle against him. She tenderly kissed his cheek.

"The best," said Hermione, "And this was the most bizarre proposal in which I'd ever been involved!"

"We hope it's the only one!" said everyone at once.

They all began to laugh until their sides hurt and everyone toasted Ron and Hermione with Mrs Weasley's homemade pumpkin juice. It was delicious. Amidst everything, nobody heard the pop from behind the Grangers.

"Now what are we going to tell Harry?" asked Hermione.

Ron turned to her and grinned, but he looked over her shoulder and winked at someone.

"I'd better be your best man…or I'll disown you!" a voice said.

Harry had just Apparated and had come out from behind Hermione's parents. Ron tried not to laugh as he anticipated Harry's actions. He crept up to Hermione and grabbed both sides of her ribs with his hands. She jumped again…turning around to see Harry. She hugged him.

"Harry! Oh it's so good to see you. Look! Ron and I are engaged!" Hermione held up her ring finger to show him, blushing like mad.

"Congratulations," he said, kissing Hermione on the cheek and clapping Ron on the back, "Good luck to you both."

"Oh, and you will definitely be my best man," said Ron, returning the clap on Harry's back, "So…when are you and Ginny getting engaged?"

Harry fainted.

THE END!


End file.
